Monday, April 28, 2008

Conundrums

We all know that some people just have too much time on their hands, right? Take, for instance, the scientists who figured out why the slice of bread you just buttered—and dropped--will almost always land buttered-side down on your kitchen floor. According to their math, it’s because the bread does not have enough time to flip more than once on its way down to the floor. So, if they can figure that out, perhaps somebody can explain these conundrums:

1. There’s never enough time in a day to get everything done. Why?

2. My son won’t willingly kiss anyone nor allow anyone to kiss him because he doesn’t want to swap germs. He won’t even pick up his own dirty underwear with his bare hands; yet, he’d wear the same clothes for a week and has been known to use the restroom without washing his hands. Why?

3. Cars always need major repairs just after the warranty expires. Why?

4. My daughter can complain that she is starving before dinner but when it comes time to actually eat, she won’t be hungry at all. Why?

5. When you buy a universal adapter or remote, it works on every brand except the one you needed it to run. Why?

6. The more we are in a hurry to go somewhere, the more problems my children have getting ready to go. Why?

7. The phone always rings right when you are in the middle of something important. Why?

8. Even though my kids haven’t played with a certain toy for a long time they won’t let us get rid of it. Why?

9. After you walk all the way upstairs to get something, you forget what you wanted to get in the first place. Why?

10. My son loves pizza and macaroni and cheese. He’s a real connoisseur and knows which restaurants have the best and worst of each but he hates cheese and won’t eat it. Why?

11. Doctors, dentists, and others will charge you for missed appointments but don’t pay you when they cancel yours or make you wait when they are running late. Why?

12. My daughter’s ouchie will hurt so bad that she just has to have a band-aid. When she finds out the only band-aids we have left have cars on them instead of princesses, the ouchie no longer hurts. Why?

13. The more you want to do something, the more things happen that prevent you from doing what you wanted in the first place. Why?

2 comments:

debenj said...

All I can say is IT's SO TRUE!!! Everything you wrote I can relate too! Certainly can't explain any of them but can say they all fall under "WHATEVER" at least that's what I say... Just bought a new universal remote and we just happen to have a TV that refuses to cooperate with it (it's not the 1st remote I've tried on this TV) and usually end up shrugging my shoulders and saying "WHATEVER"

"WHATEVER" must be one of my favorite words to use! LOL

Anonymous said...

Your list is SOOOO TRUE! Here's one to add: Your car is making this really weird noise but when you take it into the mechanic, it isn't making the noise anymore. Why? I'm sure there are a lot of ones that could be added to the list! BTW - yesterday's post of the stained glass layout was BEAUTIFUL!
bernzee