ACK! WHAT IS THAT??!

Let me just say that this morning started out like any other school day. I was doing the mommy-thing, trying hard to get my kids ready and out the door on time for school. My kids, of course, don’t always cooperate. I finally got them both up—with eyes open even! After just a little bit of indecisiveness and negotiating on their part, I even got them to sit down and eat breakfast--a minor miracle. I started tidying up the kitchen and went to the sink and proceeded to start the morning dishes when I looked out the window and got a little shock.

There is something in the pool. There is something swimming in the pool! It’s still alive. ACK! What is that? Is it a snake? Nope, the body is too wide to be a snake of that length. It’s not a snake. Whew! It must be an otter. Nope, it’s too small to be an otter. Ack!!! It’s a squirrel! And it can’t get out of the pool!

What am I going to do? I can’t let the poor thing drown while my kids are watching and eating breakfast. Besides, I don’t want a dead squirrel in my pool! How am I going to get it out of the pool? The net! Where’s the net? Will I be able to get close enough to it with the net? Will it swim away? Just how am I going to catch this thing?!!!

I grabbed the net, took a deep breath and sized up the situation. Maybe, just maybe, if I go towards it, it will swim onto the net. It’s worth a try. Amazingly enough, it worked. The squirrel is on the net. Quick! Get it out of the pool without it jumping off the net! Now!!!

The frightened squirrel is so shocked to be on the moving net that it jumped right at me. ACK! I jumped too. (Luckily, not into the pool.) The drenched squirrel landed right next to me and froze. Okay, I’m okay. The squirrel is out of the pool. But . . . it’s not moving! Is it dead? Did I rescue it from certain drowning only to have it die of fright right at my feet? Now what am I going to do?

I bend down and take a closer look. Should I touch it? Look, it is breathing! Its chest is heaving and its heart must be pounding from the exertion of swimming for who knows how long and from the fear of all of it. ACK!!! It jumped up again and ran between my feet to hide in the bushes.

Ack! I actually played lifeguard for a squirrel. Thank God that little furry thing didn’t need CPR! Whew, that would be nasty. Hey, that little ungrateful thing ran off without saying thank you! I didn’t even get to pet it. Humph.

I called my husband and told him about my ordeal. Here’s what he e-mailed me (keep in mind, he’s in the military):

"I just saw a medal request form go through with your name on it for the Golden Squirrel Life Saving Medal. It is the highest medal for valor offered by squirrels. They are trying to set up a presentation ceremony for you."

You’re all invited to the party just as soon as I find my wand. LOL!